(Source: ***)

circumcisions:

i’m so naturally funny because my life is a joke

(Source: jdbiebers)

me at school 

me:the fuck is this
me:who the fuck are you
me:dayum pull yo skirt down please
me:walk faster fuckface
me:fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you
me:no you're a whore
me:dont touch me i have more followers than you
me:i wonder what would happen if a guy with a gun came in right now
me:pew pew nigga
me:i'd push you in front of me whore

airagorn:

dumb story because i think i’m funny

we were watching a movie in school and there was a scene where this guy was driving over lava and they kept showing close up shots of the tires catching on fire and i started laughing and my friend kept asking me what was so funny and when i finally composed myself i took a deep breathe and whispered

‘hot wheels’

scraggay:

darkdaysbrightnights:

scraggay:

MY MOM FED ME COOKIES WITH MILK IM GONNA SHIT UP A FUCKING STORM WHY CANT SHE DO ANYTHING RIGHT

OH MY GOD

WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH HER

GIVING YOU COOKIES AND MILK

ARREST HER

IM LACTOSE INTOLERANT YOU PIECE OF TRASH I LITERALLY MEANT IM GOING TO SHIT UP A FUCKING STORM

(Source: growlithed)

getinmy-tardis:

so today one of my friends was scrolling through my other friends blog and came across some fan art and asked why the woman was making out with a cabbage… This was the picture

image

thats-slightly-raven:

You sick bastard.