(Source: ***)
i’m so naturally funny because my life is a joke
(Source: jdbiebers)
me at school
dumb story because i think i’m funny
we were watching a movie in school and there was a scene where this guy was driving over lava and they kept showing close up shots of the tires catching on fire and i started laughing and my friend kept asking me what was so funny and when i finally composed myself i took a deep breathe and whispered
‘hot wheels’
MY MOM FED ME COOKIES WITH MILK IM GONNA SHIT UP A FUCKING STORM WHY CANT SHE DO ANYTHING RIGHT
OH MY GOD
WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH HER
GIVING YOU COOKIES AND MILK
ARREST HER
IM LACTOSE INTOLERANT YOU PIECE OF TRASH I LITERALLY MEANT IM GOING TO SHIT UP A FUCKING STORM
(Source: growlithed)
so today one of my friends was scrolling through my other friends blog and came across some fan art and asked why the woman was making out with a cabbage… This was the picture

